Not a pretty girl...

2003-09-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

The interview went much better than expected. Great, some might say. I find out in the next few days whether they're designating me for "early consideration." All that means is I find out their decision sooner.

So, THIS is a fascinating article, in the meantime. The New Yorker is the bestest. The bestest in the whole wide world....

2003-09-10T12:52:00.000-04:00

My first graduate school interview is in 17 minutes and 35 seconds. I think I'm going to vomit.

2003-09-02T14:14:00.000-04:00

At least everyone's first day back to work is *comforting*...

I feel like that, given 10 years to prepare, the world will come up with something better than sending Bruce Willis to blow himself up on it.

Gotta give a shout out...

2003-08-22T15:42:00.000-04:00

...to Miss Esta, who is shutting off the computer at her soul-sucking job for the last time today. Esta's leaving corporate hell for greater and Greater things - namely, the seminary. And the world's going to be a better place for it. Hopefully, she'll keep us updated at Estaminet, so we always know what she's up to.

Esta is one of my oldest, best and most wonderful friends. And she's going to be a darn good minister. Hopefully she'll marry me one day. Well, not me. Me and someone else. But she'd be there. Marrying me. Us. Being the person to marry me and the other person. Not all three of us marrying. You know what I mean. :=)

"You a big girl, but you tryin'!"

2003-08-20T09:34:00.000-04:00

I'm not in the best shape of my life. I work 10-hour days. I'm tired when I get home. I love to cook, therefore, I love to eat what I cook. I could stand to lose a few pounds. About 2 years ago, I was running 5 miles a day - I looked the best I had in years and felt great.

So, I go out to exercise. I can't exactly go at the gait I used to have... right now, I'm mainly walking. I have a 10-year old knee reconstruction and two compressed lumbar disks, for goodness sake. But, I'm out there, chugging along. Trust me, this is going somewhere...

Last night, I was at the park in the city where I like to go. Lots of people around... soccer being played in the fields, people lounging and chatting on the park benches that line one of the walking paths. There are two paths, actually - one right around the soccer fields and a longer one, closer to the perimeter of the park - with hills and curves. I'd been on the longer trail, going around several times, mainly walking, occasionally jogging. Then there looked to be some gang activity (the police came to see new grafitti that had just been tagged onto a statue as I walked past) so, I decided to head up to the more populated trail.

I jogged around once, passing a man on a park bench who smiled and said "Keep running, girl!" I just smiled and laughed and kept going. I got tired... so I walked. I came round and passed him again. His response this time? "You'll get there..." while clapping his hands, like I'm running a race and he's one of the spectators. My next time around was my last - I'd been out for about an hour and was pretty dang tired. He was near the end, sitting there watching as he had been before.

His response this time? "I gotta give it to ya... you a big girl, but at least you out here tryin!" And he clapped and cheered me, all the way down the steps and onto the street.

I wanted to strangle the motherfucker right then and there.

5-minute behind girl

2003-08-19T14:22:00.000-04:00

For forever and a day or two, Esta's been telling me to read Real Live Preacher. Whatever... I'll get to it eventually. I'm not sure I want to read the blog of someone with "preacher" in their title.

I need to start listening to Esta a little more frequently. I mean... she was right about stuffed grape leaves (who KNEW!?). This man is amazing. He's like reading a novel when you're too tired and you want to go to sleep, but at 3am, you're still reading because it's just too good to put down.

the ultimate in snobbery

2003-08-15T08:24:00.000-04:00

These are a hoot. I can't admit to having thought of them myself - I'm not that punny (or that funny, but I do so love to use the word "punny").

I found them here ... and she found found them there.

The blog world is like six degrees of separation... from what, I do not know. Anyhow, enjoy!

literary bar jokes

Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I'd like a martini.
Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?

James Joyce: I'll take a Guinness.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday.
James Joyce: (drinks)
Bartender: And he asked for a martini and I said, "Olive or twist?"
James Joyce: (drinks)
Bartender: You see, it's funny because he wrote a book called "Oliver Twist."
James Joyce: What a shitty joke.

Ernest Hemingway: Gin.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here two days ago.
Ernest Hemingway: Joyce already told me that story. Fuck off.

Franz Kafka: I'd like a mineral water.
Bartender: Olive or twist?
Franz Kafka: I can't digest solid food.

Mark Twain: Give me a brandy.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini.
Mark Twain: Did he take an olive or twist? Ha ha ha!
Bartender: (tearful) You did that on purpose, didn't you?

Virginia Woolf: I'll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.
Bartender: We don't have that. This is a bar.
Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns)

2003-08-14T09:46:00.000-04:00

I wish I had more to say. Not a whole lot going on. I did start the process to volunteer at GW Hospital. That should be fun - I've always liked volunteering. We'll see how it goes.

I have a new apartment - will be moving in late September. Saving money for school - living large means no bank account. That has to stop. :)

Other than that? Nada mucho... man, my life is boring.

2003-08-07T10:42:00.000-04:00

My relationship with my boss is falling apart. We can't have a conversation anymore that doesn't end with him frowning and raising his voice and me walking out with a trembling lip or, worse, just plain ol' crying.

Part of this stems from my inability to have a difficult conversation without crying at all. I don't know how to stop it - my therapist told me I probably COULDN'T. But that's not something you can tell your boss - "my therapist says you have to put up with my crying because that's just the way I'm wired." Yeah... not so much.

I know I'm partly to blame - I don't want to be here. I want to be in another career. And it's even worse since I've decided what I want to do and how to get there. Because now I'm just in waiting mode, and I'm peeved about the interim 10 months (why can I never make these decisions in January, when I can still do something about them for the coming semester??).

I'm a grown-up. I realize I need a well-paying job to keep my car, my apartment, to feed & clothe myself. But I'm fighting the urge to run. It doesn't help that my mother, who for many years was NOT at all like this, keeps saying "you know that if you want to come here, you can live at the house for free and work for me for the 10 months." Thanks, Mom, but no dice.

So, what do I do? I don't know. Quit and work at Starbucks for the next 10 months? Don't laugh - they pay full benefits to anyone who works more than 20 hours/week! I wish I knew what to do. I wish it was easier than this.

I wish I wasn't premenstrual, either...

Dratted posts!

2003-08-06T10:33:00.000-04:00

I typed up something all pretty and nice. About how Esta told me I needed to go type something since I had back my blog powers. About all that had been going on in the world since I last blogged.

Well, wouldn't you know that I hit some silly button and lost all of it? Computers...

The one thing I will mention again is this - the wonderful appointment of Rev. Gene Robinson as the new Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire. Godspeed, Rev. Robinson. Come on... look at the joy in their faces in that picture? How can that not be Godly?

So, about me... because really... that's what blogs are all about!

My grandmother (my mom's mom) is sick - we think she has cancer. Most likely the same lung cancer that killed her son, despite having never smoked anything in her life. She's been with my mom, figuring out how to deal with doctors, etc. In watching my mother - calmly and with great grace - handling everything with the knowledge that 35 years as a nurse has given her, I realized alot. Most importantly, what a wonderful person my mother is and how much I want to be like her. I've been searching for so long to find a way to HELP people. Sitting behind my computer with a phone to my ear, telling a reporter about the fine work being done by nonprofit organization X doesn't really accomplish that. Not to say that it's not laudable work... it's just not MY laudable work.

So, I'm applying this fall to nursing school. The University of Virginia - my alma mater - has a two-year program for people who already have a bachelor's degree. After two years of intensive study, you come out with a bachelors of science in nursing. So, I hope to matriculate next fall. Please cross your fingers and say a prayer that they want me.

In the meantime, I'll do one of two things - my lease on that great D.C. apartment runs out in September (anyone want to move to Dupont? Relatively cheap rent!) so I'll move to a Northern Virginia studio to re-establish residency and save money for school. OR... and this is my preferred scenario - the house Esta's going with me to see outside Charlottesville on Saturday will be within my monetary reach, I'll buy it, move to my little country cottage on 1.5 acres, telecommute for the next year and start UVa in the fall, as planned. Hell, the mortgage is cheaper than rent!

I realize for many people, the thought of hospitals makes them cringe. For me, it's the complete opposite. Hospitals are wonderful places. I literally grew up in one! Candy striping for Mom, answering the phones in the hospice, wheeling people out when they got better, working in the nursing home during college. The smells, the sounds... all the things that make most people nervous give me comfort. I think I'm supposed to be there.

2003-08-06T09:45:00.000-04:00

I'm BACK!!!! For *months*, I couldn't blog. Not sure why... I'd publish.. nothing. Post... nothing. I decided to go check it out this morning. Clicked the "publish" and WHAM. All the things I'd written and not been able to share suddenly show up!

Granted, that's two posts but I gave up quickly.

So, throughout the day, as I have the chance, maybe I'll cop a squat and type a little...

See ya'll soon!

2003-04-18T10:21:00.000-04:00

test

2003-04-02T10:32:00.000-05:00

The Washington Post. I love it... I do. It's my home paper. Great opeds, editorials. World coverage. But I must express my disdain and concern over an article in the Food section today about cast iron skillets. My family has a long-standing fight over who gets my grandmother's 70-year old cast iron skillet (passed down from her mother) when, God bless her, she leaves this Earth.

Call me Southern elitist, call me a Southern foodie who doesn't want the world - ie:YANKEES :) - to know all our glorious food secrets from down yonder... but come ON. I can just see some bourgeois Embassy Row, raised-in-Bethesda housewife trying to make fried green tomatoes.

Pardon my expression but the Washington Post doesn't know SHIT about fried green tomatoes. Please stick to what you know! Give us fingerling potato & celeriac gratin, give us duck confit... describe for us in great detail how to truss a squab (*cough* baby pidgeon! *cough*). What to do with those Jerusalum artichokes from the aisle of Dean & Deluca.

But stay far, far away from my beloved fried green tomatoes and cornbread. You're BUTCHERING it.

2003-03-31T12:41:00.000-05:00

oh. my. god. i love my boyfriend but this guy is SO on my list. this guy IS my list. LAMINATED.

go see the pianist. now. go. SHOO!

2003-02-18T16:15:00.000-05:00

Many, many things...

First up: SNOW. Good lord above... you would have thought no one around here had ever SEEN snow. The workers in my office have all been gathering around the windows, staring down onto the streets to watch fender benders, wipe-outs, wheel-spinning and several incidents that you thought you'd only see on Cops.

Next: Evan picking the cool chick, Zora. I must admit, I'd not watched an episode of Joe Millionaire until last night, but knew of the goings-on via Julie. It was nice to see him pick the woman who had a little flesh on her bones - certainly not a *big* girl but not a twig like most of the rest. She looked *healthy.* We like Evan a little more now. I shed a little tear of joy for them. Next up - Married by America. Sweet Jesus, that's a train wreck waiting to happen. But you're going to watch... you know you are. Sadly, so will I.

Lastly - if anyone out there in the void is hiring in the Pacific Northwest, please hire me. You see, we want to move there. To be closer to this. And this. And that. And those. And these. Please help us. If you could find us jobs here, here, there or at this place, we'd be eternally grateful.

Gracias.

2003-01-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

Remember the old phrase "It's about the economy, stupid!" ? Well, the same could be said for this war we're facing. "It's about the OIL, stupid!"

So, if you're against the death of innocent Iraqi citizens (and well-meaning U.S. soldiers who do what they're told or get kicked out), I say do this: Go to TargetOil.com. On Tuesday, February 4th, Greenpeace is organizing peaceful protests countrywide about our pending war with Iraq.

Be there or be square.

2003-01-28T10:43:00.000-05:00

I hate, hate, HATE that Hotmail is so persnickety these days. Makes for long, arduous days with no friendly emails.

I also hate, hate, HATE my job. Feeling too far removed from the actual work being done. That makes no sense out of context, I guess. Of course, I work for many wonderful organizations that are doing good things in the world. I think the problem is that I'm too far away from the THINGS. I want to be closer to the work. To DO the work. Not just talk about the work to reporters. I want to be an activist, not just promote activists. I want to have my hands in the dirt, stare up at the mountains I want to save, talk to the people in the communities I want to help improve.

Do I need to leave Washington? Do I need to find an area far away from the federal government? Where I might not change the world, but I could help change a few acres? Is that the problem? Am I stuck with too big a picture and seeing nothing actually happen?

2003-01-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Michael Moore's Stupid White Men. A must-read, if you ask me. And I have GOT to get to "Bowling for Columbine."

One thing Moore focuses on in the book is the lives of African Americans. How their lives now are, for the most part, shockingly similar to the lives led by African Americans before the Civil Rights Movement. Which of course, brings me to today. Martin Luther King Day. Like Michael Moore's book, this speech sounds like it could have been given today, 40 years later, and would still ring true.

I have a Dream
by Martin Luther King, Jr.
Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

2003-01-02T11:54:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's happening.

Background: I've had the new Missy Elliot song in my head all morning - specifically the undecipherable chorus sung backwards. Needing new music, I went to my assistant, who always has CDs with her. I gleefully grabbed Millenium Hip-Hop. :) Chock full of such fine tunes as Funky Cold Medina, Bust a Move, Around the Way Girl.... I'm singing along knowing every word and yelp to "The Humpty Dance."

Then, she says it - "You know that song that well? Wow... you ARE old..."

:)

2002-12-31T14:51:00.000-05:00

actually... i think i will do a "year in review." movies i liked, good music, good books. corporate snafus and hysterical & ridiculous public figures. true tragedies and the glimpses of goodness we saw. i'm going to have to think about this with my day off. i'll report back thursday. in the great words of esta, "god rest ya'll merry"this evening! happy new year!

2002-12-31T14:44:00.000-05:00

ok... so i take back the statement below. lott is a scumbag. could we have had ANY more vapid apologies?

let's call that my year in review...

2002-12-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

While I cannot STAND republicans, and am sadistically enjoying watching Trent Lott twist in the wind a bit, I feel compelled to post this article, In Defense of Lott by Dick Morris of the New York Post. If only to separate Lott from the vile and disgusting Strom Thurmond.

2002-12-17T09:37:00.000-05:00

sweet jebus! i've blogged once in the last month! sadly, not one reads anymore, i'm sure... that is, if they read to begin with.

if there's anyone out there in the void, here's to you. the colossal colon. in an effort to educate the american public on the dangers of the very easily prevented colon cancer, the cancer research foundation of america is promoting a "colossal colon tour", complete with a 40-foot long, 4-foot high colon rectum... i mean REPLICA... with viewing windows to check out healthy tissue, polyps, and the stages of colon cancer. THIS, my friends, is a hoot.

on a more serious note, i actually think this is really cool. my grandfather's colon cancer quickly metastisized (sp?) to his liver and killed him within 6 months. my mom's had polyps removed... colon cancer is scary stuff. but additionally, it's 'let's-not-talk-about-the-way-i-poo.' i like the fact that they're making an attempt to make it okay to discuss.

good stuff... go back to work now.

2002-12-02T07:10:00.000-05:00

The always funkified and truly groovy Tim of Jarrett House North is turning the big 3-0. Happy Birthday, buddy!

2002-11-11T16:17:00.000-05:00

"The guys in U2, they would tell us, 'C'mon, you guys gotta get back on the wave with us, take rock 'n' roll back."

Forgive me... I'm suddenly 16 again... Tomorrow, Pearl Jam will release their seventh studio album since they formed in 1990. That's pretty impressive. Not too many bands out there can say that. And oh, my god, they're so good. :) Laugh if you will... I know I sound like my dad pontificating from his armchair about how no one... NO ONE... will ever rock the house like Led Zeppelin did. I understand him now... now that I change from commercial radio station to commercial radio station, griping like a little curmudgeon about how "kids these days listen to nothing but CRAP!"

I hope something will happen to rock music soon. I know U2 and Pearl Jam won't 'take back rock-n-roll.' At least, not for anyone younger than 30. These kids need their own thing. Their own version of Doc Maartens and flannel. Their own "Teen Spirit." Their own "Jeremy." It's more than a song. It's a revolution. Laugh... I know you want to. But it was true. Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Sonic Youth, Fugazi, 7 Year Bitch... and many more less commercially successful but pretty rockin bands... those were the people you heard reminding us to rock the vote. All-chick punk bands telling young women that we were strong. Powerful. That we should know how our government was operating. To know what was being said about abortion rights. To think about what you were being told by your parents... the media... your politicians.

I just hope it comes soon because right now... kids these days listen to nothing but CRAP! :-)

2002-11-08T10:14:00.000-05:00

down with tyranny! down with the establishment! down with the capitalist scum hell bent on killing the planet and the majority of its inhabitants (both man and beast)!

"mcdonald's to close 175 restaurants"

Well... it's a start. :)

2002-11-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

right this very minute, i'm missing elka. elka was my bad-ass bitch. elka had heated seats. my sore back, where my ovary "exploded" this weekend, could do with some heated seats right now.

not that i don't love the buggy. the buggy rocks my world. but she would rock it harder if she had heated seats.

2002-11-06T09:58:00.000-05:00

in my first act of dissent, i made sure to buy steve earle's "jerusalem" from amazon - "the world's largest online bookstore" - just to make sure john ashcroft knows of my purchase.

2002-11-06T09:53:00.000-05:00

and lest we forget to include... not a civil liberty to be had...

2002-11-06T09:48:00.000-05:00

oh, good christ. before the next election rolls round, roe v. wade will be reversed, ANWR will house an oil refinery and our kids will be praying in homeroom.

2002-11-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

I've been reading Esta's Great-Aunt Eva's Blog. She has the family diary of a relative who did daily entries about her life in central Pennsylvania, only about 60 years ago. Esta has told us time and again that reading over it, and transcribing it onto her site, has made it seem like she's writing of a time long gone, not just a few years back.

Personally, it's making me WANT to go back. Just her writings of the daily gathering of vegetables from the garden ... the slow time of visiting with neighbors.... I winced at the "Ginger had three kits yesterday and I drowned them" but I cannot throw stones. I've heard my own grandmother say the same. Part of me is wistful reading it because it sounds like my OWN grandmother talking... this woman seems to have been about her age.

As I follow along, I picture myself doing these things. But now. Is that possible? Will I ever be able to live a life like that? If only for a few hours each day? Can I have the chickens and the the garden - one that seems to provide them with everything from sweet potatoes to celery, lettuce to corn? Will I have the time and energy to can for winter, to pick cherries, bake pies?

Am I romanticizing this life? Of course. It was backbreaking work. I'm sure it was, at times, boring. They didn't have the chance to exercise their brains in the work every second, like I do at my job. But is that a bad thing? I just don't know.

2002-10-31T15:31:00.000-05:00

No matter where your rump sits on the ideological spectrum, THIS is appalling...

Atheist Scout given a week to declare belief - CNN.com

Can't wait until the ACLU sinks its teeth into this one...

2002-10-31T09:53:00.000-05:00

While I am not in the camp of thinkers who believe ALL the tripe British Petroleum is currently spewing about being "beyond petroleum," I do think they're leading the (albeit short) list of petrochemical companies diversifying into renewable energy sources. Apparently, Lord Browne, CEO of BP, has called out President Bush on the fact that he cannot just invade Iraq, rape them of all their oil, hand it over to ExxonMobil and be done with it. Good to see corporations standing up to the President. THAT doesn't happen too often.

===================

BP chief fears US will carve up Iraqi oil riches

Terry Macalister
Wednesday October 30, 2002
The Guardian

Lord Browne, chief executive of BP and one of New Labour's favourite industrialists, has warned Washington not to carve up Iraq for its own oil companies in the aftermath of any future war. The comments from the most senior European oil executive, who has impeccable political connections in the UK, will be seen by anti-war protesters as further proof that US president George Bush has already made his mind up about an early attack. They will also serve to underline concern that the US is primarily concerned with seizing control of Saddam Hussein's oil and handing it over to companies such as ExxonMobil rather than destroying his weapons of mass destruction.

Britain's biggest company is reviewing what impact a regime change in Baghdad would have on its own business and global crude supplies. Both London and Washington have been lobbied by the UK oil giant, which is concerned that European companies could be left out in the cold. "We have let it be known that the thing we would like to make sure, if Iraq changes regime, is that there should be a level playing field for the selection of oil companies to go in there if they're needed to do the work there," said Lord Browne yesterday at a briefing on the company's results. Lord Browne said that most exploration for new supplies had halted there when the
Iraqis nationalised their industry. But he believed there was a plenty of oil and gas waiting to be discovered in Iraq and that BP should be in prime position to capitalise because it had found most of the country's oil before being thrown out in the 1970s.

BP said it had had no contact with Baghdad since 1989. Iraq's reserves amount to 115bn barrels of oil, making it the biggest source of oil in the world behind Saudi Arabia. Lord Browne's views will be listened to carefully in Downing Street because the BP executive team has such close links with the UK government that it was once dubbed Blair Petroleum. A number of former BP executives, such as Lord Simon, have been seconded into Whitehall while one of Mr Blair's personal assistants, Anji Hunter, joined Lord Browne's team.

Impending war with Iraq has given a financial boost to BP and other western oil firms by driving up the price of oil to $27 per barrel.

============

If I had my druthers, we wouldn't be in this war at all... but my druthers clearly don't jive with the druthers of others (hehe...).

2002-10-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

Great op-ed in the Boston Globe yesterday on Walter Mondale and the late Paul Wellstone :

Copyright 2002 Globe Newspaper Company
The Boston Globe
October 29, 2002, Tuesday ,THIRD EDITION

SECTION: OP-ED; Pg. A17

HEADLINE: THOMAS OLIPHANT;
A WISE MAN WAITS IN THE WINGS

BYLINE: BY THOMAS OLIPHANT

BODY:

WASHINGTON - THE EMOTIONS SURROUNDING THE MEMORY OF PAUL WELLSTONE - PAIN AND PRIDE - ARE SO POLITICALLY POWERFUL PRECISELY BECAUSE THEY ARE SO REAL. AND THE EMOTIONS SURROUNDING WALTER MONDALE'S POSSIBLE RETURN TO PUBLIC LIFE - RESPECT AND AFFECTION - ARE ALSO POLITICALLY POWERFUL, PRECISELY BECAUSE THEY TOO, ARE SO REAL.

The emotions are quite different, but the latter feeds on the former, producing a remarkable combination that is instructive in a year when H.L. Mencken's carnival of bunkum, the dumbed-down excess in politics that so repels potential voters, has been particularly demeaning. Not once in the dozen years I knew him did Wellstone ever affect a moral superiority over others as a person of deep conviction and principles in a community of trimmers and angle-players. He was more like Hubert Humphrey, a happy warrior who preferred to reach out far more than he struck out.

The focus on his passion has largely missed the important fact that his activism as a legislator was not lonely, particularly in his second term. In the Senate, Wellstone gradually learned that ideology is not necessarily an obstacle to accomplishment in an institution that is designed for consensus.

No senators grieved with more intensity than the Republicans with whom he took great strides on important issues: with Pete Domenici of New Mexico to advance the cause of parity in the insurance treatment of mental illness that has affected both their families; with Sam Brownback of Kansas to attack the dark side of economic globalization, in particular the international trafficking of women and girls in coerced prostitution; with Jesse Helms of North Carolina to take on commercial interests in fighting for human rights in China.

Their deep feelings toward him mirrored the attitude back home in Minnesota, where the admiration felt for Wellstone regularly trumped political disagreement. The fact that his polling numbers shot up in the aftermath of his vote this month against Congress's authorization of military force against Iraq should not have been surprising. Precisely the same phenomenon had occurred in the fall of 1996, when he voted against welfare reform in the middle of his reelection campaign.

The intense pain felt at his sudden passing, in Minnesota and in politics generally, is motivational, not depressing. It will not dissipate with his memorial service. Not to vote next week would mock the genuineness of every twinge felt as the news of his death spread last Friday. The informed talk in Minnesota this week is of the possibility of a swollen turnout - the most fitting tribute imaginable to a person who believed above all that participation and activism is democracy's plasma.

The emotion engendered by Mondale's quick willingness to serve is more quiet, but respect is one of the most important arrows in a successful public official's quiver. Former vice president Mondale's special standing in Minnesota and in public life internationally offers a healing dignity to the hurt engendered by Wellstone's loss. It also offers the country the potential of having another wise voice on the national scene in a difficult period when too much space on the stage is occupied by myopic partisans.

The fact that he was visited over the weekend by Wellstone's eldest son, David, and urged to take his dad's place on next week's ballot is poignant, involving as it did someone who had just lost his father, mother, and sister.

David Wellstone's visit is all the more revealing because its purpose was not to urge Mondale to be Wellstone, but to be Mondale.

What the two share is impeccable character and a belief in government's potential to make a positive difference for people of average means and for the poor, for hard-pressed rural America, and for civil rights.

Mondale, however, is a public figure of surpassing dignity, even reserve, famous for his meticulous approach to public questions. In the 30 years I have known and covered him, I never had to write the phrase "Mondale later explained." In person he is actually a witty fellow, loves a cigar, and loves the back rooms as much as the arena. But what most people forget is that Mondale connects past and present. He may have been crushed in Ronald Reagan's reelection landslide, but it was he who first faced the issue of the budget deficit nearly 10 years before it became chic; he also was a decade early in advancing the cause of day care for working families, and only a Richard Nixon veto blocked him. In foreign affairs, his expertise is global and only hinted at by his ambassadorial service under Bill Clinton. The end of apartheid in South Africa was foreshadowed by his tough talk to the apartheid regime as vice president.

For Minnesota in its heartbreak, there is the political prospect of the right kind of healing. For the country, a wise man who is also a world-class pol is in the wings. Only the ignorant and desperate partisans will call him old.

2002-10-29T16:44:00.000-05:00

So... snow is possible in our fair Capital city this weekend. Not sure how I feel about that... I mean, I love me some snow. But not in early November. We barely got FALL! Global warming, people... global warming.

You're going to get sick of me saying that, I'm sure.

2002-10-29T11:33:00.000-05:00

A very close family member of mine suffers from bipolar disorder. She was with me this weekend and it was obvious that her perscription needed to be reworked. She was obsessive, focusing on annoying things I didn't want to worry with, loud and boisterous... and oppositely, she was sullen and cried over the teensiest thing. I love her dearly. She is my family and I would would lie in front of a train if I had to for her. Times like this weekend, though, try my nerves and rattle my sense of normalcy and peace. It's blogs like this one I just found, courtesy of the Green[e]house Effect, that remind me of the struggle she faces everyday to deal with her illness. Thanks to the blogger who shared it.

2002-10-22T15:44:00.000-04:00

esta said i should post this and make all ya'll hungry. it is a cut and paste from email because i didn't feel like writing it out again.

>i have to tell someone who'll appreciate this. i made the BEST dinner last
>night. completely homey... not exactly grilled salmon on pureed fava beans
>with a citron oil glaze like your brother...but hey, i don't eat salmon. :)

editorial note - that's esta's brother tim... story concerning that dinner found here.
>
>anyhow, it was a shepherd's pie. i've been craving comfort food with the
>arrival of fall. so, i decided to go all out. i cooked lentils with
>carrots, celery, onions & garlic. then added some tomato paste and green
>peas. threw in some sage and thyme to spice it up a bit. also put in some
>vegetarian ground 'beef.' i mashed the potatoes with buttermilk and
>sprinkled parmesan cheese on top. it is SO good! i ate it for dinner last
>night and just polished off a bowl for lunch. methinks this will enter
>stephanie's standard repetoire (sp?) for yummy things to share. i'm
>thinking i'm going to write this up as a recipe to offer up on the veg
>cooking websites. it's THAT good...
>
>next time, i'm buying guinness to go with!

sorry i haven't been blogging so much lately (who exactly am i apologizing to, by the way?). the sniper has rattled all our cages here... and i was out of town for several days at a conference on top of that. beautiful spot, actually. colorado springs. i hiked the mountains around pike's peak, took pictures, drove the harrowing dirt road to the top, got woozy and nauseous with my first wave of altitude sickness - at 14,500 feet! - bought a gold-covered aspen leaf christmas ornament, suffered through a speech before 50 of my esteemed colleagues when i thought only 5 would show up to listen to me, watched a bunch of aging hippies dance to 'war, what is it good for' and beam at their unabashed joy, experienced great rejuventation regarding my career choice... and pretty much had a grand ol' time. it was nice to be away. wish the boy had been able to join me, though, since i had a complimentary upgrade to 'suite' status!

promise to write more now...

2002-10-02T11:51:00.000-04:00

Michael Moore says: "You're Either With Us, Or You're Fired!"

2002-10-02T11:00:00.000-04:00

ill communication...

i swear if i hear lou dobbs talking about "gettin' tha bling-bling" on moneyline one night, i'm gonna lose it...

2002-10-02T09:46:00.000-04:00

do you have one of those lists - the list of things you want to do in life? places to see, things to do - accomplishments, goals? i made mine last year. during a pretty sad time in my life when i needed something to look forward to. some things have been done, some things have been scratched off because i changed my mind. :) but, for posterity's sake, i'm putting my current list here:

* camp in denali national park & preserve
* live in the mountains... any mountains
* run an organic co-op with a little restaurant
* hike in patagonia and tierra del fuego
* learn to kayak
* grow my own vegetable garden... and live off it
* learn to really knit... not just holey scarves
* own my own little spot in the world

2002-09-27T10:53:00.000-04:00

Go. Now.

http://www.blah3.com/freedom.html

2002-09-25T09:11:00.000-04:00

i'm losing sleep. i'm not feeling so well. nothing physical. just emotional.

i'm feeling pressured. i've been seeing someone for about 18 months. things are good. we have a good time together. we're monogamous. we're devoted to one another. but we're not like a traditional couple. we don't sleep over at one another's houses. we don't see one another every day (although we talk nearly every day). we don't call one another 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend.' we're introduced to new people as 'my friend [name].'

the problem is that people around me are making it seem like this is bad. that we've been 'together' for long enough and we need to...start introducing each other's families ...move in together ... talk about marriage ... the list is long. and anxiety-ridden. my mother finally said it the other day - "am i ever going to see a grandchild?"

sometimes it gets to me and i start to worry about these things myself. and it hurts. *why* are we different? *why* don't we talk about marriage? yes - i desparately want children. my clock is ticking. LOUDLY. but questions about it from those around me - not just questions but all out accusations about the nature and stability of my 'relationship - make it that much worse. and more. it makes otherwise normal interaction between us (the man and me, that is) sometimes tense and stilted. i don't want to ruin how happy we are together and the bond that we share by placing expectations on him that were pushed onto me. that doesn't seem healthy. for me OR for him.

2002-09-19T13:18:00.000-04:00

Yikes... from 9/11 Probers Say Agencies Failed to Heed Attack Signs on WashingtonPost.com:

• Thirty-three communications were collected by the National Security Agency between May and July indicating a "possible, imminent terrorist attack," the report said.

• In May 2001, the CIA learned supporters of bin Laden were planning to infiltrate the United States; that seven were on their way to the United States, Canada and Britain; that his key operatives "were disappearing while others were preparing for martyrdom," and that bin Laden associates "were planning attacks in the United States with explosives."

• Two months later, in July 2001, the CIA's counterterrorism center reported that an individual who had recently been in Afghanistan indicated, "Everyone is talking about an impending attack."

• The FAA and FBI were told in August 1998 that a group of unidentified Arabs planned to fly an airplane loaded with explosives into the World Trade Center from a foreign country. The FAA dismissed the report as unlikely, while the FBI's New York field office tucked it away in its "bombing repository file."

An FBI spokesman said yesterday that the 1998 report "was not ignored, it was thoroughly investigated by numerous agencies" and found to be unrelated to al Qaeda.

• A September 1998 report said that al Qaeda might be planning to detonate an explosives-laden aircraft at a U.S. airport.

• Later that same year, officials received another report indicating "a bin Laden plot involving aircraft in the New York and Washington, D.C., areas."

While a little unnerving... AND disturbing... definitely an article to read.

2002-09-19T09:10:00.000-04:00

so... someone who used to work in my office got 'let go.' i receive all this person's email now. this person was a raving conservative. this person CLEARLY, after reading the incoming emails diverted to my account, must have hated me.

on a daily, or close to daily, basis, i receive emails from an organization called the center for consumer freedom. if you know me well... and if you read this, you probably do... you know i'm not what you might call a 'conservative.' actually, i have posted on my door an email exchange with an editor of an oil industry trade calling me 'nothing but a commie flack for a bunch of tree-hugging socialists.' i kid you not.

BUT, i digress. back to the point. the point is that this group - the center for consumer freedom - is the WHINIEST bunch of conservatives i've ever seen. i swear, on a daily basis, they're writing about PETA. PETA. who spends THAT much time bitching about PETA? don't these people have better things to do? plan a war? beat up some homeless people? hold a shotgun against-her-will wedding for a single mother in john ashcroft's pentacostal church...and call it a 'marriage incentive'? instead, they're bitching about PETA giving $1500 to ELF. that's the 'earth liberation front.' granted, a pretty militant group, i will agree. they're into primitivism and setting fire to animal research facilities (after removing the animals, of course) and new suburban mcmansions. (WARNING - visiting the ELF website might get a file started on you in john ashcroft's office).

but PETA said they gave it for a specific program and i believe them. PETA's way too big an organization - with 501(c)3 (that's non-profit status, by the way) rules and regulations to comply with. why would they risk everything - decades of work on behalf of our furry and not-so-furry friends, by allying with ELF? by the way, i am neither supporting or ridiculing ELF - just saying that's like allying with the russians in the middle of the cold war.

all i'm saying is this - why in the world do these guys spend their time harping on this sort of thing? it seems frivilous. they're certainly not going to change PETA's mind. they're also not going to change anyone's mind who already donates to, or is thinking of donating to the organization. they just look plain silly.

friends, this was just one of many rants by these people. they also gripe about consumers being frightened about genetically modified foods. now tell me, how can you call yourself the center for consumer freedom while you argue the opinion that the food industry should be able to genetically modify all our food? doesn't that take away our consumer freedom of choice in the foods we buy? just a little 'food' for thought, if you will...

2002-09-17T10:03:00.000-04:00

well, after much ado, i'm moved into my new apartment. mostly. well, kinda. sorta.

there are still many things at my old place. bikes to be ridden over. pictures and plants to be driven over. winter shoes, leftover hangers, my bike rack, a bookshelf, boxes of books, cleaning supplies... so, i'm not *fully* moved. what's over in the new apartment is still in boxes. mainly because my two small closets are filled to capacity. while i love this apartment, it is severely lacking in the storage space area!

my kitchen is squared way... i'm not sure i could live without having a well-placed kitchen. i've already baked a cake in my lovely gas oven and can't wait to spend more time there.

here's the kicker. my big-ass couch? wouldn't fit up my NOT so big-ass stairwell. picture ross, chandler and rachel with the 'pi-VOT' scene and you'll pretty much have it. so, my couch (which i hated and was not sad to see leave me) is settled into the trash heap outside my old apartment building. so, to IKEA i go this weekend to refurnish my living room. also, i'm in dire need of a chest of drawers. if you see one on the side of the road, please let me know where it is.

the cat spent most of the weekend in my closet. pissed off that we moved again and he doesn't have that lovely window seat to terrorize the birds. but, he seems alright now and is meowing up a storm.

ah well... we're in. the walk to the metro is short and lovely. the apartment is quiet and quaint. i have a coffee shop and a wine and cheese market round the corner. i have a neighbor named clark who is sweet and watches out for our building. i'm happy. happy indeed.

2002-09-16T12:51:00.000-04:00

now, this is gross:

The 60,000 delegates (from 182 countries) to the recent World Summit on Sustainable Development in Johannesburg, South Africa, luxuriated not only in four- and five-star accommodations but an elegant food and drink layout, including tons of lobster, oysters, filet mignon, salmon, caviar, pate de foie gras, champagne, fine wines and mineral water. (An estimated 60 African children a day die from contaminated water.) The conference center (which cleared out hundreds of nearby trees to accommodate delegates' limousines) is only a few miles from the squalid neighborhood of Alexandra, one of Africa's poorest. (Poverty in Africa is up 35 percent since the last such summit, in 1992.) [Daily Telegraph (London), 8-31-02]

2002-09-10T13:29:00.000-04:00

*Gasp* Not ORANGE!!

They've done it. They've now completely sickened me beyond utter belief. We're going to code orange, ladies and gentlemen. Milking this day for everything they can get.

You know who I feel most sorry for right now? Those people who lost a someone last year. I wonder how many of them realize and despise the fact that their loved one's death is being trivialized and politicized like this. Bastards.

2002-09-10T09:19:00.000-04:00

I have a sad, sad story to tell. I think I might be a little crazy. While I'm okay with it, I wonder if those around me might be a little disturbed by it. You see, I talk outloud a lot. And I don't really care if that outloud talking reaches someone else's ears. I mean, I don't care if anyone else is in the room. I just talk.

However, I did have a bit of a spell this weekend that's worrisome. Not for me, but for anyone else who may have seen it. :) Sunday morning is my time. I have a little ritual - I go to the coffee shop (right now, wretched Starbucks because there's nothing else around. But that all changes when I pick up the keys to my new apartment Friday ... the new apartment that's around the corner from the "Jolt-n-Bolt" :-) ). I get a cup of coffee, a muffin and the Sunday paper. Then I sit outside, read the paper and eat my breakfast.

The birds tend to gather for my muffin crumbs and being the animal lover I am, they end up getting half of it. In addition to being an animal lover, though, I'm also a champion for the 'little guy.' In this case, it includes 'little birds' ( trust me, this story *is* going somewhere). The little birds get there first. Nibbling on little bits of the crumbs of my lowfat cranberry-orange muffin. Then, the pigeons swoop in. Like gargantuan C-17's or Dorothy's flying monkeys, they settle in for the kill. Lumbering around and swatting the little sparrows away. Well, I had enough. "NO! That's not yours! That belongs to him! Go over there! Here's yours! Leave his ALONE!" Yep... that was me. Outloud. 8am. Plaza square. By a fountain. Many, many other people around. (Did I just say all that outloud? Did that woman and her baby hear me? Why are those people walking away from me?)

There I was, 27 years old, in a park, wearing old Sunday morning clothes and my hair in a do-rag... talking to pigeons.

:)

2002-09-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

i suck at keeping this thing updated. it's like a friend that moved away. you keep in touch with them for awhile and tell them everything... then eventually you move on. :) but, i promise i'll try to type more frequently. my assistant started last tuesday and i've been busy with her. she's good... hope we don't scare her away.

so, i just read this article - The underwear ad that's causing a stir - and i have to agree with the author - i LOVE this ad. also, i majored in african amerian studies in college. trained to notice these things. and not ONCE did i picture a new version of bamboozled sweeping america. i saw a goofy guy, dancing around in his boxers. not a goofy black guy. not a goofy white guy. not a goofy hispanic guy. just a goofy guy. and a HOT one, at that.

do we sometimes get so caught up in political correctness and protecting against ethic bias that we fail to see people as 'people' and instead see them as the amalgam of their race?

2002-08-30T14:31:00.000-04:00

peace out, ya'll. have a good weekend. and BE SAFE!

in the timeless and distinguished words of pink:

"iiiiiii'm coming up so you better get this party started...."

esta, i'm on my way!

2002-08-29T08:48:00.000-04:00

Still busy. But wanted to say something.

I'm reading a wonderful book that's keeping me up waaaay too late at night. It's just too good to put down. It's called The Dive From Clausen's Pier by Ann Packer. It's about a young woman whose fiance becomes a quadreplegic after diving into a reservoir. It asks all those questions you think in your head when you hear that someone has been greatly changed by a loved one's tragedy. How do you react? Is their life dependent on yours? Are you always strong for them? Is your loss less significant than theirs? Please read it.

Also, last night I tried out for a new chorus. And I made it. :) Woohoo! If you're a chick, live in the D.C. metro area and sing, let me know. The group is still holding auditions. It would be fun to sing again with some of my college cronies!

2002-08-27T08:42:00.000-04:00

Today's a tough day... a 'not blogging so much' kind of day. I have meetings/conference calls/news conferences at 11, noon, 2, 3:30 and 4pm. *Christ!*

And, on top of that, eight... that's right....EIGHT news conferences this week. So, it's going to be a bit crazy. And my inept co-worker f-ed up all sorts of stuff this morning so we're hours behind schedule. EEEEEdiot.

I'm going to need this weekend at the beach like crazy.

2002-08-26T17:19:00.000-04:00

Hhhmmm...

The bible teaches that women brought sin and death into the world, that she precipitated the fall of the race, that she was arraigned before the judgment seat of Heaven, tried, condemned and sentenced. Marriage for her was to be a condition of bondage, maternity a period suffering and anguish, and in silence and subjection, she was to play the role of a dependent on man's bounty for all her material wants, and for all the information she might desire... Here is the Bible position of woman briefly summed up.

-Elizabeth Cady Stanton

2002-08-26T08:50:00.000-04:00

Hysterical Blindness - HBO's newest film - was heartwrenching. And devestating, as this Salon.com review explains. But worth every second spent watching it. I'm not sure it would resonate with men but I think every woman I know can see a bit of Uma Thurman's character in them... if only a little.

Why is it that women are so vulnerable? While Debby is clearly more so than most, it's still there in all of us women. I used to run to the bathroom to cry when a guy in a bar that I'd finally gotten up the nerve to speak to didn't respond. And I, in my head, played up relationships to be lots more than they truly were... and winced with empathy when I saw Debbie do it too.

Do men do this? I have so little experience with them. And many of the men I've known were more than willing and able to vanish at the drop of a hat and didn't seem to possess the vulnerability and sometimes self-hatred that women have. I'm learning all men aren't like that - I've found a man that I love and who understands my fears. But I don't even always trust him. When I don't hear from him or we have a fight, I automatically think that worst and revert back to my uncomfortable, scared-in-my-skin self. Scared that I'm not good enough. Hear that sobbing "what's wrong with me?" like Debby's question to the bartender.

Anyhow, that's enough angst for a Monday morning. Sorry to bring everyone down but this film was pretty powerful. And cut like a knife.

2002-08-26T08:05:00.000-04:00

"How deep is your love"... the Bee Gees. That's what the street musicians were playing on the keyboard when I came up the escalator of the Metro. It's stuck in my head for the day. And now it's stuck in yours....

2002-08-22T12:13:00.000-04:00

Suddenly I'm a blogging dervish...

In light of my first blog this morning, however, I thought I'd comment.

So it begins... A&E is vowing, at 8:46 AM Eastern on September 11th, to fade to black and offer "a series of images, words and music intended to inspire quiet reflection."

Aaaaaand, so the self-righteous acts begin....

2002-08-22T12:05:00.000-04:00

Gack! This spin is such Georgia Pacific TRIPE!

I curse this statement!

*hock* *spit*

From the AP wires: "Bush proposes logging to prevent forestfires"

2002-08-22T10:21:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else dreading September 11th this year? Even now, tears roll uncontrollably down my cheeks when I see images from that day. I remember the dreams I had in my new apartment behind the Pentagon the first few months afterwards. Dreams seeing planes crash into my apartment building. Dreams of people jumping out of windows. Of men coming to my door trying to break it down, knowing in my dream they were "terrorists." Waking with hysterical, irrational notions in my head of how to save my friends and families.

I worry about the media this year. That we'll see the "After School Special" equivalent of "moving on" with our lives and "those who died for freedom." That our blundering leader will use the day and its horrid, atrocious memories to wage war. That wounds finally beginning to heal will be ripped open again with prejudice, fear and rage. While we shouldn't forget, we must keep going. Continuing to focus on the day and its happenings makes it a festering wound.

Personally, I do not think September 11th should be a national holiday. At least not yet. The day Pearl Harbor was attacked is not a national holiday. The day Timothy McVey obliterated the Murrah building in Oklahoma City is not a national holiday. We live in a time where everyone is making rash decisions. Laws being passed in the name of "fighting terrorism" and "upholding democracy" that will only harm us more as time goes on. We need to let this all sink in for awhile. We need to get past our wounds and our fears, our prejudices and our illogical notions, before we make decisions about national holidays, laws, new protocol, etc. Time brings with it perspective - something we greatly need right now.

2002-08-21T12:21:00.000-04:00

The quote in this article that alarms me most is:

Specter, R-Pa., said the embryos should be available for research, but only if they are going to be thrown away otherwise. "If any of those embryos could produce life, I think they ought to produce life," he said in a statement.

Has this man never seen an orphanage? Children in foster care? Starving children in developing countries? Just because we *could* produce life, doesn't always mean we *should.*

And the term "adoption" being used makes me veeeeeeerrry leery. Thank heavens we only have two more years with this administration "leading" our country. If we're not careful, all our women will be wearing burqas soon.

2002-08-19T09:41:00.000-04:00

A few things this morning... I was SO psyched to see that this week's Time Magazine is going to be devoted to "The Green Century" with articles on environmental sustainability, organic farming and building, population and climate change issues. Please read if you get a second. Cool stuff.

Complete change of subject but where, oh WHERE is Joel Achenbach? He hasn't written his column "Rough Draft" in the Washington Post since March... with no word as to where he's gone and when or if he'll be back. Woe to us all if Joel has put down his pen.

2002-08-15T14:03:00.000-04:00

I just got the urge to go to Charlottesville..... not UVa really... just C'ville. What a good place. Will definitely have to go for a weekend in the fall, once the leaves have changed.

But right now, the thought of living in a little drafty cottage... with lots of this dog and that dog... out Rt. 250 sounds divine. With a porch swing. And big old shade trees. And a view of the mountains. And a garden. Is that too much to ask?

2002-08-14T11:17:00.000-04:00

So... there have been twice as many "Code Red" ozone-related days this summer as the entire summer of 2001 in fair Washington, D.C. This is troublesome. Very troublesome, indeed. Global warming, anyone? And ExxonMobil says it doesn't exist. By the way, notice how they don't call it "global warming" but instead, refer to it as "climate change"? Some focus group must have told them "global warming" gave people that too-warm, not-so-fuzzy, 'the day after' kinda feeling. Kind of like "clean coal." There's another one to laugh about... *clean* coal. Uh huh...

Sorry to babble about the ins and outs of global "climate change" but when I cough and my nose runs the second I walk out the door, there's a problem. When I physically CAN'T ride my bike to work in my personal effort to ratchet down greenhouse gases, there's something wrong. No good, I tell ya. This is no good.

Get this, though. In the category of "continued efforts to save the planet" - told my mom a stat I read recently. 60 million people die of starvation every year. If the American population lowered their meat consumption by ten percent... TEN PERCENT... these people could live to see another year being fed by the grain not fed to those livestock... My mother - "Well, *I* can do that to help people..." Good work, Mom! It's a start!

2002-08-13T09:42:00.000-04:00

Boy... it's been awhile. Told you it would be like the diary. Feverish typing at first, wanes when it gets to be less 'new.'

I took the day off work Friday to spend with the boy. It was a very nice day. Wish we could do that every day. It was with great disappointment that I showed up to work Monday morning. And with even greater disappointment that when I ripped off the day's prior cartoon on my Far Side daily calendar, I realized it was only Tuesday. Woe to Tuesday. Tuesdays are worse than Mondays. At least on Mondays you have options. You can either look back happily to your weekend or spend the day bitching about the beginning of the week. Wednesdays are hump days, Thursdays... hey, you can look forward to Friends. And Fridays are just spent with the countdown. "Seven and a half hours to go...3 hours and 45 minutes... 22 minutes and 38 seconds..." Tuesdays are the redheaded stepchild. Nothing good or bad to say about them. They're just there.

But, I have a few things to look forward to... the move is coming up in a little over a month. I can't wait. Saturday night I decided to explore my new neighborhood. Browsed the shops... had dinner at a tea house near my apartment called Teaism. What a lovely spot. A pot of green tea and a bowl of miso soup work wonders for the soul. I can't wait to take Esta there - she'll love it.

Also, a trip... a visit to Colorado in October. I'm going under the auspices of work - but I may be going out several days beforehand to enjoy the scenery. The conference begins Thursday in Colorado Springs. But, going out on Saturday and camping for a few days in the Rocky Mountains sounds like a good plan to me. Let's pray for no freak snowstorms, shall we? It *will* be mid-October. That's not beyond the realm of possibility.

2002-08-08T09:13:00.000-04:00

Do you ever get so homesick it makes you cry? But you're homesick for a place you can't visit? I'm homesick for memories. Homesick for places that no longer exist. For people who are no longer here. Times I can't bring back. Places that, if I tried to go back to them and conjure up old ghosts, they'd be gone and the place would lose its magic.

"So this is what it's like to be an adult..." - E.V.

2002-08-07T14:24:00.000-04:00

I think the quote - "We were handling it safely, except that it was loaded..." - says it all about this article.

2002-08-07T10:29:00.000-04:00

A couple things...

This story in this morning's Washington Post is amusing. The super-sizing of coffee. Only in America do we even need our coffee this big. In Italy, they're pleased as punch with their little Illy espresso. They think it gauche that we Americans (not me - I know better and live my life as a Europhile already) drink capuccinos past 10am. They're a breakfast drink, people.

Why is it that in this country, we take everything that is good, supersize it, offer it on every street corner or mall and gorge ourselves? What about restraint? What about making it a treat? What about having something in smaller quantities? We drive Expeditions (RIP Excursion... and good riddance), "biggie" or "supersize" our 1/4 lb. hamburgers, drink triple venti Starbucks coffees "extra shot, please"... hell, our mothers have SUV baby strollers. We have less children yet build McMansions, with separate wings for everyone. We buy 100-disc CD players (does anyone ever listen to that many CDs at once?). We shop at Costco, Target and Wal-mart: supersized grocery stores, pharmacies, hardware stores, furniture stores and bookstores, all rolled into one.

Now, I'm sure there are many out there who will say this stuff saves us time, money... that being able to go to Wal-mart keeps us from having to go to 4 different stores on a Saturday. But, do we need half the stuff we buy? I stare at my full pantry and refrigerator and can't find anything to eat. I look at my collection of 300 CDs and can't decide what to listen to. I have 100 channels and can't find anything to watch. We have too much stuff. And the stuff we have, we want to be big. Something is really, really wrong with that.

Speaking of big... how about the big vacation Dubya's on (like that segue)? Remember this time last year when everyone was bitching about this? The poor White House reporters who had to schlep to Crawford, Texas and watch the president clean up brush and downed trees at the ranch? Then, it was a nuisance, but we didn't think THAT much about it. We enjoyed being cranky about it and were getting wound up to say we had a lazy president... the tide was turning against him. Then, it was forgotten in the wake of early September's "unspeakables." Since then, we've started a war, seen two Fortune 500 companies go bankrupt, watched corporate executives be cuffed and sent to the big house, watched our 401(k) plans dwindle to pittance ... yet he still goes on vacation. I know way too many people that can't AFFORD to go on vacation this summer because of all that has happened. Doesn't it kinda seem like he's rubbing it in our faces?

Selected reading for the day:

* Center for a New American Dream - More Fun, Less Stuff!
* The Onion - after all, it IS new today.
* Daryl Cagle's collection of political cartoons - what else do you have to do over lunch?

2002-08-06T13:24:00.000-04:00

More things I like today:

* This book that I just bought called "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" which, within its first two pages, had me laughing hysterically.

* Peanut butter and Saltines, the ultimate midday snack.

* Being outside during this gorgeous weather. It feels like San Fransisco out there...

* The fact that my crazy but wonderful drag-queen cat seemed alright this morning after having being left for the weekend and being so upset about it, he pulled up some of the carpet at my front door. God love him, he's a freak....

2002-08-06T10:24:00.000-04:00

Things I love today:

* the new chocolate colored skirt from Patagonia I'm wearing... after covetting it for nearly 6 months, I finally broke down and bought it.
* the cottonball clouds floating by outside my window against a sunny, bright blue sky (not a common occurence during August in Washington, D.C.).
* big mugs of warm coffee laden with my yummy vanilla soy milk.
* walking to work this morning and being hit with a breeze and temperature that feel downright fall-esque.
* the possibility of a Labor Day weekend trip to my mom and her girlfriend's place in Emerald Isle, NC with Esta and P.
* mentally decorating my new apartment in my head.
* planning a fall trip to Vermont.
* the funny story I heard this morning on NPR about a couple from England who'd planned a trip to Sydney, booked the trip online, got on the plane and ended up in Sydney, Nova Scotia before they realized their mistake. Apparently, they made the best of it and spent their vacation in Nova Scotia. Got a chuckle out of that... glad they took it in stride.

Things i don't like today:

* that the National Park Service website is down... reminds me of how little money they have.
* softball... sorry, not explaining. but I really hate softball.
* that I just got a message from my father saying I should "give him a call sometime" even though whenever I do call, no one picks up, the answering machine doesn't come on and no one calls me back even though I know they check the caller ID like a newly online person checks their email.

Might add to this as the day goes on... check back. I know you'll be waiting with baited breath....

2002-08-05T16:12:00.000-04:00

Ugh. *SO* upset about this. Esta's older brother Tim wrote, many eons ago, a hysterical group of poems he attributed to our ol' UVa's George Welsh. He posted them on the Sabre.com website and has gotten completely reamed out by a group of dumb-witted jock-wannabes.

I say to them:

1) First off, please visit this website. Anyone trying to impersonate a University of Virginia graduate would be a tad more prepared to face the fire if he/she used grammatically correct sentences.

2) Learn that cliques on message boards are the equivalent of attempting to create the "cool table" in the high school cafeteria. Good going... you're SO grown-up.

3) Get up from your desk, walk away from your computer and realize the person you're attempting to skewer is a human being - not just a 'nickname' on your screen.

4) While you're up, take down your big-ass UVa diploma, likely framed above a picture of Scott Stadium and a mounted flask still reeking of cheap whiskey, and throw it out the window. You don't deserve to own it.

2002-08-05T14:34:00.000-04:00

It's been a long weekend. No need to rehash... if you read this blog, you read my bud Esta's blog as well. So, you know how I spent my weekend. But, Esta's place is divine. She's settled in and loving her own four walls. It was all worth it.

I don't have much time today... it's been a busy one and I've got to get back to writing a press release. But, in the course of my day's work - yes, I'm lucky enough to be able to cross paths with this sort of thing in my daily work schedule - I came across this website I thought people might be interested in seeing. It is a site to buy Afghan prayer rugs. These woven rugs are the chief source of income for a lot of the women living in Afghanistan, as well as those in refugee camps along the border with Pakistan. They have three different price breaks: $65, $125 and $300. Personally, I think my Momma's getting one for Christmas. :) She'll appreciate that. I might eventually get one for myself too... would look beautiful above my bed in my new apartment! And $65 would help a lot of people there... for a long time.

2002-08-01T10:43:00.000-04:00

Listening to the Diane Rehm show... the woman who just called in - on the subject of corporate accounting and bankruptcy - said in the course of her diatribe: "... in the words of my mentor, Ron Hubbard..." Do ya think she means L. Ron Hubbard? The head of the Church of Scientology? Pardon me for making a blanket statement but those people are weeeeeeiiiiiiiiiird.

2002-08-01T10:35:00.000-04:00

Sometimes good things just fall in your lap... I wrote the current resident of my new apartment to find out which companies I need to call to hook up water, gas, electricity, etc. in my name. Well, good news my friends! Water and heat are included in my rent - a fact I failed to ask about because the apartment was just so damn purty. All I have to pay for is cooking gas - if ya know me, you know I'll rack up a fair amount there - and power. So, if I don't watch much television and turn off my lights when I'm not using 'em, I'm set. :) Woohoo! Life's small pleasures...

Getting set for a fun weekend of moving Esta into her new neighborhood. She's positively thrilled and I'm pleased as punch for her. This place seems like the bee's knees and she deserves it. I'll all veklempt thinking about how rockin' it is for my cool, funky friend to move to a cool, funky neighborhood. From the looks of the website, it's gonna be right up her alley.

When, by the way, did it get to be August? Does anyone else feel like their life is streaking by at an increasingly rapid rate? I know, I know... complete switch in subject matter... Just thinking about how long I've known Esta. Makes me realize how we're all aging a little. BUT, we're doing it with grace.

2002-07-30T10:29:00.000-04:00

esta asked me to post my letter to WETA. here it is:

While watching your recent Globetrekker episode on Ms. Justine Shapiro's trek to Isreal, I was greatly disturbed by some of the attitudes Ms. Shapiro displayed. Personally, I consider myself a humanist - accepting and respectful of all religions. However, at two different instances in the show, I was upset to see Ms. Shapiro acting in a disparaging way concerning religious matters.

At one point, Ms. Shapiro stopped at a market stand and put on a "crown of thorns" that was offered for sale there. The crown was sold in this Jerusalem stand because of its similarity to the one said to be worn by Jesus Christ during his crucifixion. She laughingly asked the shopkeeper if the crown made him feel sorry for her, flippantly alluding to a deeply held feeling of grief and emphathy by many Christians throughout the world. Even worse was her next slight, when Ms. Shapiro rolled her eyes and laughed at a reinactment of Jesus' walk to the crucifixion.

For as many people as inhabit our earth, there are as many views on religion. Each of these views deserves respect - even Ms. Shapiro's seemingly flip conviction about Christianity. However, to treat another's religious views with an open and public disrespect is reprehensible. While I voraciously support the right to speak one's mind, when it needlessly harms and belittles another, it is immoral and unnecessary.

As a member of WETA and PBS, I am greatly disappointed. I pay my dues to public television and radio because I believe it to be a media outlet without bias. One that provides news and programming that offers various ideas without referring to ANY of them in a derogatory way.

I would appreciate a thoughtful internal discourse at WETA concerning this matter. While it cannot be taken away, it can be a moment in which to glean new insight on human emphathy and acceptance.

Sincerely,
Stiz

2002-07-30T09:57:00.000-04:00

lotsa loose ends. excited that i just talked to the management office at my current apartment complex - the one i owe $500 to for leaving my lease. i like "leaving" so much better than "breaking". it sounds less shady. less like the baltimore colts... if you don't get that joke, you don't watch sports and i'll explain it later.

anyhow, the money is due today. i'm borrowing it from p because i... uh... i don't have it right now. i mean, they told me FRIDAY. that i had to give them 500 american dollars by tuesday. sheesh. anyhow, i'm getting it from him today so i was a leeeetle concerned about getting it there by 5. but, to my joy and relief, they said just to slide it in the 'rent hole' as i lovingly call it. so, i'm good. whew.

i wrote my first letter of "concern" today. it was to PBS and WETA. i was watching a show this weekend called globetrekker. LOVE this show.... very rough guides .. very lonely planet. actually, it used to be *called* lonely planet. well, the traveller on the show really mocked christianity. while i consider myself much more a humanist than anything else, i am disgusted when people's religions are openly mocked. and she was a'mockin'. she rolled her eyes and looking on with laughter as a reinactment of jesus' march to the crucifixion. she also trapsed around jerusalem with a crown of thorns on her head. very crass. very disrepectful. so, as a member, i complained. and was proud of myself for doing so.

and annnnOTHER thing (i'm on a roll...)

THIS asshole... who, by the way, is a boxing reporter so unless an ear's being bitten off, no one listens to what he has to say. so, he felt the need to be an idiot about lance armstrong's *astounding* fourth win at the tour de france. his article, if that's what you want to call this drivel, says that lance is not a great athlete. he comes just short of comparing the tour to festivus, for cripe's sake. by the way, if you don't follow it... the highest peak on the tour is over 8,000 feet. lance rode a bike up it. 8,000 FEET. by comparison, the highest peak in virginia tops off somewhere in the mid-3,000s. a BIKE. and he did it again, on other routes. every day. for THREE WEEKS. and this asshole wants to say he's not a great athlete? i have a bike. a trek , just like lance. :) mine's a mountain bike. completely different sport, really... but back to the point. i use it on the roads as well as on trails and i can tell ya... from my VERY novice standpoint... what that does takes skill, endurance and mental toughness like michael jordan has never known. mike played for 2 hours. lance rides a bike uphill for 2 hours, and then downhill for another 2... and then back UP for another hour to end the race. then he gets up the next day and does it all again. 'nuff said.

question... does anyone else start singing tribe called quest's "award tour" whenever they hear anything about the pope's current world tour? personally, for the longest time, i sang 'we on a world tour, with mohammed my man, going each and every place with a mike in ya hand...' i am the queen of the misheard lyric.

excuse me, while i kiss this guy...

2002-07-29T11:57:00.000-04:00

This is kinda sad. Just heard a teaser for a piece on this afternoon's All Things Considered. It's a tad disturbing. Has anyone else gotten, on a daily basis, the African "help me get to my money" email? The one that sounds like a Humphrey Bogart film and has you funnelling money away from a despot after a tragic accident killed this person's advocate next-door neighbor? The one who left all his hidden money to the author of the email? Or some variation, of course.

Well, I always thought people just did what I do - laugh and delete. Or grumble and delete, depending on how many times prior that day it's shown up in my in-box. Or like the Washington Post Magazine's Gene Weingarten, who penned an article recently about emailing back and forth with the person, just kinda fuckin' with 'em.

But, according to the teaser, people are losing money. They're sending money to this poor person thinking they're helping someone in need. I have to tell you ... my firm deals with lots of educational materials sent out to posssible scam victims. Many of the scams are almost believable. Where you can see how some unsuspecting person might be willing to help. But this one... this one is especially rich.

Almendo Savimbi actually sent me one this morning... I'm supposed to help "saving [his] family and fortune." He's the "son of the late rebel leader Jonas Savimbi of Angola who was killed on the 22nd of February 2002 . [He] managed to get [my] contact details through the internet." Now, I studied African history and social affairs a fair bit in college... I don't know any Jonas Savimbi. What I want to know how is how Jonas came upon this money he apparently has deposited in "different security firms in Europe and Ghana." If he is a rebel leader, should he not be in the vein of Che Guevara, holding few possessions and giving any spoils back to the people? Jonas sounds a little shifty to me...

Oh yeah... Jonas' bio is apparently right here....

Where's my checkbook???

2002-07-29T10:18:00.000-04:00

Pet peeve of the day. The packaging for organic peanut butter. If you buy it, you know what I mean. Organic peanut butter must be stirred when opened because the oil rises to the top. Stirring peanut butter is like slicing water. But I could do it... *IF* there was a little breathing room in the jar! But they top it off so there is no room for error. I inevitably end up with a greasy jar because it slops out on all sides. And then it's always a little grainy because you've pissed away a 1/3 of your oil down the side of the jar, onto your kitchen floor, into the cat food...

Truly... the bane of my existence.

2002-07-29T10:11:00.000-04:00

Oy. I know everyone knows about this... and it's not like it's anything new in this town. But in less than two months, it's going to be MY town. I'm going to be a District of Columbia resident. I'll have taxation with no representation. And a continually *interesting* mayorial saga. While I much prefer this to scandals that begin with the phrase "that bitch set me up...", it is still a little disconcerting to be moving into an area with such constant problems.

At the same time, it is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. And the people living in it are a menagarie, a microcosm of the world. With everything from the working class to the quasi-bourgeois to the bohemian to the politicial junkie to the homeless. It's going to be an eye-opening move. Virginia, it ain't.

2002-07-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

Random life observation... when you listen to public radio often, you are definitely more aware of the commercials you hear on for-profit radio. in particular, McDonald's commercials. Bleah... I don't want ONE Big Mac, much less two for the price of one...

2002-07-24T09:26:00.000-04:00

ever have those toss-n-turn nights? of course you do... i mean, not the *good* kind of tossing and turning... the *bad* kind. well, finally i decided to be productive about it and do something. mercilessly cleaned out my closet. if i haven't worn you in a year, you're not worth keeping. it turned bad when i got to my shoes, though. i realized just HOW many leather shoes i have... here i am crowing about being a compassionate vegetarian and i have three pairs of boots, two doc maartens and countless leather sandals. just now as i'm writing this, i'm thinking about those vasque sundowners i've covetted for years. what's crocetta leather, by the way? what's a girl to do!!?!

after i'd relieved my closet of about one-fourth its weight, awake and alert, i hit the CD collection. right now, the only place i have to store them is a bookshelf that is in great need of BOOKS... not CDs. my *other* bookshelf is busting at the seams and needs a little relief. so i thought, it's time to cull this bad-boy down to a collection that will fit into some other receptacle. i was reminded of a recent discussion on the blog Green[e]house Effect ... the author discovered a hysterical website called "one hundred albums you should remove from your collection immediately." reading that, i knew some work needed to be done. i've culled... removing such dusty masterpieces as best of leonard cohen , fugazi's repeater , the who's live at leeds and many, many others. don't blow a gasket. when's the last time you actually *listened* to fugazi instead of just talking about how cool their 'straight-edge' lifestyle is. i'm cool! i've been to the free fort reno park show! i'd know ian macKaye if i passed by him in DCCD! that's enough for me....:)

there are many in the stack... some i'll be backhanded for wanting to get rid of... others still sit in the shelf, in some sort of dante-esque limbo, not knowing when i'm going to throw them out too. very sad ... and a sick, unintended "limbo" joke, actually, that among these are the entire collections of the defunct and minus-a-lead-singer-due-to-drug-overdose-suicide-or-both alice in chains and nirvana . i'm just not that angry anymore. that was the music of my youth. my high school and college years when i thought these guys were god, along with pearl jam and soundgarden (by the way... still keeping both full collections by those bands, despite not having listened to either for ages. some things still are hard to part with.)

there's a lot of crap to part with too... bad CD's from good bands... bad CD's from bad bands... overblown CD's from bad bands... and just CD's i don't like anymore. they're played out. or they just ain't me. everyone's welcome to go through them before they make their way to the used cd bin. lemme know...

2002-07-23T12:19:00.000-04:00

Oh, the humanity!!!!

I'm tofu-heavy and riceless. That sounds like an Ani Difranco lyric. I got dinner from yuuuuuummmmy Vietnamese place in my neighborhood. Got veggie spring rolls and tofu and broccoli with lemongrass and chili. Spring rolls, as we all know, don't keep so well, so I ate 'em last night. Brought in the container of rice and leftover tofu for lunch. Sadly, the container for the spring rolls and the container for the rice were twins. I am currently staring at a container with garnish and leftover sauce while my rice sits in the trash can. while i realize many more travesties exist in the world, this is mine right now...

2002-07-22T15:01:00.000-04:00

wowwwwwww.... i feel like i might be getting a sign from the gods. i found this great apartment a few weeks ago in the greatest neighborhood in the district. not too much to look at on the outside but the inside was beautiful. hardwood floors, high ceilings, gas stove, lots of windows... perfect. the rent's $1100... $100 more per month than i pay now. the utilities are really low so i figured i'd be upping my living payment by about $150 a month. but, when i sat down to do the math of moving, i couldn't justify it. i checked with my apartment complex and they said there would be a $500 fee to break the lease and i would have to give 60 days notice. the woman i know leaving the one i want was going in mid-august, so i figured the rent would start september 1. so, security deposit of $1100, september rent of $1100 at the new place, $500 for the break fee, the extra nearly $600 to pay at the old apartment for rent overlap... and we're looking at me writing bout $3300 worth of checks at the beginning of september. WRONG answer. we can't do that. (we, the royal we, of course).

well, after i'd given up the ghost and decided to stay at my place in the lame 'burbs, fate steps in. the manager of the cool place just called... when i explained that i couldn't take the apartment because it was just too expensive to pay double rent, he offered to start the lease on october 1! and that i could probably move in a little early without paying extra rent! 'are you serious?' i asked... 'people should be banging down your door to move into a place in the middle of dupont circle...that's awfully nice. is there a catch?!?' 'no, no catch,' he said. 'i just like to get people into the apartments that i like and trust, without having it hang over my head. if you want this place, it's yours...i'll hold it for you.' i thought about asking him if he needed someone to bear his children... then remembered my gyno says my eggs are stuck in my ovaries... i couldn't give him strapping boys even if i wanted to! :)

so, do i take it? i dunno... is the universe trying to tell me something or do i just *think* it is because i reeeeeeaaaallly, really, really, really want this place? this is my dilemma. oy. i told him i'd call back tomorrow to let him know...

2002-07-19T15:33:00.000-04:00

you know you're bored (and a little out of it) when you check your *own* blog to see if it's been updated. this is the state of my afternoon. i need a cheap hobby. anyone know of any? right now, i'm imagining hobbies like kayaking, pottery, stain-glass window-making... all fairly expensive shit. i know... i've priced kayaks. i've pondered signing up for the $250 arlington county pottery class. i've visited the alexandria torpedo factory. i know their prices. i can't afford that stuff!

i just want to be able to say i "thew" that pretty vase on the table myself. i mean, how cool does *that* sound?

2002-07-19T13:30:00.000-04:00

Hmm... I'm troubled. I'm listening to "Public Interest." They're discussing the Patriot Act, that fateful bill passed in the midst of the grief and anger-filled weeks after September 11 (I cannot and will not *EVER* refer to it as "911". i find that trite). One topic being discussed is that bookstores and libraries are being watched for "sketchy" book purchases and check-outs. People are being watched like never before. John Ashcroft makes J. Edgar Hoover look like a liberal!

I'm very, very worried about our civil liberties, my friends. We're giving up a lot in the name of fighting terrorism. It's almost as if we're giving up the ideals on which this country was built. While I would never accuse John Ashcroft of having sat at his desk that fateful day planning all the things he'd be able to do in its wake, I *do* believe he's taking full advantage of the fact that it happened to further his conservative, Svengali agenda. One that will, on a daily basis, pick away at each right we have.

What bothers me even more is that he believes himself to be a "good" American. That he plans to rid this country of those without American ideals. But he seems to believe the Bill of Rights does not apply! The right to privacy and the right to speak your mind. The fourth amendment, for crying out loud! If I buy a book on the history of Islam, to educate myself about their views, the DOJ's gonna know about it. Scuse me, but that's fucked up. It's all fucked up.

Huey Long, the man on the radio just cited, once said that if fascism comes to the United States, it'll come wrapped in an American flag. Sounds like it's starting, Mr. Long.

2002-07-19T09:07:00.000-04:00

So... I woke up this morning with my reading lamp on and "Mad Cowboy" on my chest. Open to page 107, when I apparently nodded off. Got the book in the mail yesterday and had to begin at once. For the past several years, I've felt guilty about eating meat ... ethically and for health reasons. I'm incredibly softhearted and the thought of everything from a death blast to the head of a cow to a fish desperately being dragged along by nets the size of several football fields...all of it makes me sick.

But, above and beyond that, dependence on meat is killing the planet. Its human inhabitants and all others. On the same acreage, for example, you can grow 40,000 pounds of potatoes or 250 pounds of beef. That's astounding to me. Nearly half of our potable water in the United States goes to meat farming. We're tapping our natural aquifers at a troubling rate. The biggest aquifer in the country - the Ogallala Aquifer running from South Dakota down to Texas and all states in between - is the size of ALL the Great Lakes combined. The part in Texas? Nearly dry as a bone... I think it's no coincidence that Northern Texas is the cattle capital of the world, with Amarillo being its own little cattle capital. A fair amount of the world's grain - soy, wheat, barley, etc. - feeds our meat, not our people. And it takes a LOT of grain to feed one cow. So, we're feeding our food to our food, and getting less out of it in the end. Millions of people go hungry around the world while we forcefeed grain to animals who should be eating grass... and then feed that to ourselves.

A lot is much, much worse, in the vein of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle." Things I won't mention so you can keep down your breakfast.

Reading one book alone has not changed my mind about anything. I've spent quite a while reading and researching about the state of our planet. Hell, it's my actual paying *job* to tell the world about many aspects of it!

So, all this said, I'm done. I can no longer be that selfish. To the world. To take more than I need. We're screwing with Mother Nature and she's getting her revenge. Cancer, strokes, heart disease for those at one end, starvation and squalor for those at the other. I don't want to be either. Nor do I want to contribute to it. Bring me my lentils and spinach, please. I'm done with the meat of any animal.

2002-07-18T09:38:00.000-04:00

"...why -- logically speaking -- should an American raised with America's freedoms and privileges have to accept them? Or if he accepts them, be grateful?"

Very good article. And one that puts on paper some of those wordless feelings I've had so far about this whole mess. Personally, I feel like JWL should be slapped upside the head for being "ig'nent" as people say from my little hick hamlet... but 20 years in prison is just too too, you know?

The author brings up a valid point about life in these fine United States, where our civil liberties are being chiselled away with rapidity. Just being born in this country does not mean that you will automatically love it. It does not mean that you'll want it for yourself. But the Bill of Rights *does* insure that you have the right, by virtue of being born here, to NOT believe whatever the hell you want. By joining the "gang" of the Taliban, did JWL give up these rights? And by questioning the current state of affairs, do we automatically cut him off, depriving him of 20 of the greatest years of his life? The years where he may meet and fall in love with someone, grow up a little, learn a little, possibly raise children he could teach to question (albeit a little more tamely this time) the world in which they live?

Am I naive for thinking he is not a bad person but just a lost and searching soul? Should I be slapped upside the head for being "ig'nent" myself?

2002-07-18T09:10:00.000-04:00

"Here, honey... I know you love flowers..."

I'm freakishly drawn to this, much like wanting to see those new frogs with the extra legs, or that crazy walking fish in Maryland.

2002-07-17T16:44:00.000-04:00

More on the HIV-positive puppet....

Listening to All Things Considered, where they're talking about "Sesame Gate." This puppet is an adopted little girl who lives with human parents! This isn't a grown-up we're talking about here. This is a LITTLE GIRL. Right now, the guest talking about a scene where the little girl is upset and crying because some the children won't play with her due to her "status." Her family and friends gather around to help her, explaining that no one will "catch" HIV by playing with her and remind her that she's loved and respected.

Remind me again what's wrong with this?!?!?

2002-07-17T16:12:00.000-04:00

I've discovered the hyperlink, courtesy of Esta and Tim. And thanks to both for linking to my blog!

I'm a book slut. I'm constantly asking everyone what they're reading and what they've read recently. Also, I'm an unabashed peeker, like the character in Lyle Lovett's "Here I Am."

I'm the guy who sits next to you
And reads the newspaper over your shoulder
Wait
Don't turn the page
I'm not finished

So, I thought I'd intermittently, starting today, post some of the books I've come across recently. If you've read any, let me know what you thought of them. If you have any suggestions, send them along. Who needs Amazon.com's "Your recommendations" ?!?

Reading:
* Exodus (yeah, we don't really know who wrote that one...)
* A Gesture Life by Chang-rae Lee
* Sophie's World by Jostein Gaardner

Anxiously Awaiting from the Postman:
* Mad Cowboy by Howard Lyman

Recently Read:
* Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
* Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America by Barbara Ehrenreich
* Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Up Next:
* John Henry Days by Colson Whitehead
* A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

Covetting:
* How To Eat by Nigella Lawson
* Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain

Exodus, you ask? I'm in a Great Books reading group. It's going to be my first session. I missed last month's due to a girlfriend's birthday party. None too worried, though. I didn't like Fyodor Dostoevsky's "Notes From the Underground" the first time I read it. But does anyone else think that Ralph Ellison must have read it a gazillion times before writing "Invisible Man"?

Kudos to Powell's Books in Portland, OR for the many links, and to the Electronic Text Center at the University of Virginia for the text to "Notes" and Exodus.

2002-07-17T12:13:00.000-04:00

Under the heading of "You've *got* to be friggin' kidding me"...

News information taken from the blog of a friend of a friend...

Well, our conservative boys on the Hill are cranky. Ready to re-examine PBS's public money because of their recent addition of the "HIV-positive Muppet" to the South Africa Sesame Street broadcast. I don't know about you, but I'm none too happy that Tauzin spoke for me and the rest of the American public in saying that the Muppet would not be welcome on our PBS stations here in the States. I mean, the least they could have done is ASK. My children will most certainly be told about HIV. And how it affects the world around us.

This seems like the worst discrimination ... don't we have EOC laws in this country saying we won't discriminate based on race, gender or disability? And isn't disease under the heading of disability? Methinks so...

Not too many children watch Sesame Street without supervision. Especially when there is going to be sensitive material discussed. Remember when Mr. Hooper died? They let the world know beforehand that they were going to be talking about it... so parents could decide whether it was appropriate for THEIR child.

I applaud PBS for taking the stand. And hiss at Congress for being so bloody pruddish.

2002-07-17T10:37:00.000-04:00

(Writing with proper grammar this time to see how it suits me)

Is anyone else addicted to public and/or talk radio? There was a great article in the Washington Post the other day about Brian Lamb, the head of C-SPAN. There's a line in there about a woman who keeps a rubber brick in her living room so she can throw it at the television when someone says something she doesn't like. Made me look at my yoga bricks in a whole new way...

Anyhow, I *love* talk radio. I happily pay my yearly donation to WETA. Need to give to WAMU too since they do some shows I really like. Diane Rehm and her wacky voice (I shouldn't mock; she apparently has some vocal problem that makes it shaky like that). Does anyone listen to "This American Life" ? The wonderful show that launched the wonderful and sardonic David Sedaris in to relative stardom (nota bene - read "Me Talk Pretty One Day").

Waking up to Morning Edition...LOVE that. I guess you just get used to things over time. It just seems comforting. Growing up, my mother always had a radio playing softly under her desk at the hospital where she worked. So, the lilting noises of the news and classical music just remind me of her.

Sheesh...Who waxes poetic about talk radio? :)

2002-07-17T09:56:00.000-04:00

well... after much goading and ego-boosting, i'm online. my own diary. i can't even keep a real-life, write-in-it-with-a-pen journal so i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to do this. and getting past the 'dear diary, why does stacy have to be so mean at recess?' of my youth should also be quite a feat. again, we'll see. i ain't promising anything.

i'll probably, more than anything else, use this as a place to post discussion about things that either a) piss me off, b) inspire me or c) just make me laugh. there will be cursing. there will be references to sex. there will be discussion of a 'god' or lack thereof (i keep changing my mind on that one). there will be constant ranting about the man living in the big white mansion across the river (AND all his croonies). there will be bitching and moaning in the vein of "if *I* ran this damn country, things would be different!" there also will be many shameless plugs for my various causes and organizations. you see, i work in public affairs. it's my job to shamelessly plug things. luckily, i'm blessed enough to work for an organization that allows me to, on the whole, only shamelessly plug things in which i believe.

i'll also probably openly drool over things like that trip to patagonia and terra del fuego that i want to take, the love of my life "P" (i'm not going to call my family and friends by their names here unless i clear it first), the chacos colorado z2 (caspian) sandals i want since my 8-year old tevas are getting rank, my mountain biking trips, camping, the north face patrol 3600 that i covet, the fact that i read 'fast food nation' last month and want to make everyone i know stop eating at mcdonalds, the notion that i am increasing reading the PETA website and agreeing more and more with what they have to say... and endless other 'navel gazing' inclinations as my dear friend E calls it.

if any or all of this sounds mind-numbingly boring to you, go away. shoo! git! this is my site. i can say what i want. PPBBBBBBTTTTTT!!!!